U-Fhern is mum to Juliette 7, Keira 5, Leighton 3 and Maxwell 1.
I am U-Fhern Chang, daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother to four cheeky munchkins; Juliette (7), Keira (5), Leighton (3) and Maxwell (1). I am Malaysian Chinese, grew up in Brunei - a small country on Borneo island and now live in Melbourne, Australia with my beautiful and often chaotic family. I started off my career as an Accountant then ventured into the business world with my husband after getting married. These days I am busy juggling life as a mama and focusing my time mainly on two brands; Auric Alchemy, an aromatherapy brand focused on self care and slowing down, as well as Elan House of Wellness which I am the founder of. I am deep in my mothering era and loving it whilst simultaneously tending to the flame in me that hopes to change the future of postpartum care by looking at traditions that we have lost sight of.
What shocked you the most about postpartum?
For me, I think it was the messiness. I was bleeding, leaking milk and sweating so much. I had no idea about all this and thought the hard part was over once you birthed a baby but boy was I wrong. Also I was constantly on high alert, always checking if my baby was breathing. I was also very anxious to try get everything "right" but now (4 kids later) I know there is no "right". It is simply just what you feel aligned to and to listening to your intuition. Not many women before me had told me about all these changes and if they did, the mental and emotional elements of being a new mother was never touched on.
Top 5 postpartum essentials?
1. Good nutritious food (think food delivery service, a confinement nanny / postpartum doula who can cook for you, a meal train or a freezer stocked with meals).
2. Bodywork /belly binding
3. Lactation support
4. Postpartum Doula (or someone you love and trust that you would be open to having into your space during a vulnerable and sacred time to hold and hear you).
5. TCM teas, soups and herbs for postpartum
Surprising silver lining of postpartum?
I loved being in a cocoon during my 4 confinement periods where the focus was just on baby and I primarily, and the rest of it was all about my family. The care and support I received, I had never been looked after like that in my adult life and its just so special. This time allowed me to learn and surrender into caring for myself first in order to care for those I love most.
Self care non-negotiables?
With 4 young kids, my self care rituals are not always glamorous or big but I like to work alongside a framework of small things often and big things occasionally. For example, on a regular basis it could look like a walk or a bit of movement, popping on a face mask, taking a bath, meditation or breathwork (obviously not all in one day but if it happens, that's a win!). Occasionally it might be a spa treatment, a night out with my partner or friends and once a year I like to do some sort of retreat or a little getaway.
What is something every new mum needs to hear?
You are doing great. Trust yourself and tune out the noise.
I should have spent less _____ (time/money/energy) on ____ and more on _____
I should have spent less time worrying what everyone else thought and following the "rules" of being a "good mother" and more on trusting my instincts and aligning my actions with those instincts.
What is the best thing you can do for a new mum?
Find ways that you can support the new mother. It could be dropping fresh, warm and nourishing food at their door, dropping in with tea or coffee, picking some flowers to brighten their day, and helping with little tasks around the house. Enjoy some newborn snuggles so mama can have a shower or a little snooze.
Image: Celeste Shiels Photography
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